Photo Credit: @icon8
As nurses, we deal with people at some of their worst moments and that includes our coworkers and colleagues. However, do these labels actually serve us or make relationships harder? How many of us have heard or used the following statements:
"She's borderline."
"He's a narcissistic."
"She's bipolar."
"They are a bully."
The list goes on and on...
When I was a new nurse, I remember having a coworker that I thought was a bully and a nurse that liked to eat their young. I really struggled with her at the time and felt like I needed to handle her with kid gloves since I believed I didn't know what would set her off. I would be anxious on the days I knew I was going to work with her, complain about her to my coworkers and spend a lot of time thinking about how I should have responded to her.
Maybe she was trying to bully me or maybe she was just someone that didn't have the skills to help a new grad. Either way, because I believed I couldn't deal with her, I spent a lot of time making myself both miserable and a victim. But it doesn't have to be that way.
One of the biggest personal transformations in my mindset has been to stop trying to label my coworkers and to start taking ownership of my thoughts about them. Instead of thinking my coworkers are difficult, I choose to think:
"No one can bully me unless I let them."
It's been years since I worked with that coworker, but have come across other coworkers that brought up all my mental drama around bullying who I wanted to label. When I stopped thinking "She is a bully." or "She is out to hurt me.", I was able to take back control of my mind and my personal power. I found myself being less reactive and able to even find compassion towards my coworker.
While we cannot control other people, we can always control ourselves. So when you find yourself labeling your coworker, try pausing and take a second to manage your mind and drama around the person. Be willing to be curious about the person. See if doing so changes how you think about the person and how you react to them.
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