“No more martyring myself.” – Sharon E. Rainey
Every time I see a joke about being a nurse with a full bladder or empty belly, I cringe. Why? Because more than once I have heard someone say, “Nurses do no take care of themselves.” While I know it’s meant for laughs, it’s really pointing to an epidemic we have within the nursing profession. The name of that epidemic is nurse martyrdom and it is leading to injury, illness, and burnout.
Nurse martyrdom is when nurses self-sacrifice their health and well-being until they have nothing left to give. Check out a few of these examples to see if you have done any of them:
- Working more than 7 days in a row.
- Skipping vacations and time off
- Not leaving a job that you are unhappy with because of guilt.
- Skipping your lunch and breaks.
- Not peeing for hours and/or avoiding drinking fluids.
- Regularly working overtime because you are the only person who can do your job.
- Eating junk food like chocolate, baked goods, etc. because you don’t have time to sit down and eat a proper meal.
- Working double shifts and not taking time off to relax.
- Clocking out and continuing to work.
- Not asking for help when you are overwhelmed and struggling to stay on top of your patient load.
When I was a younger nurse, I was a full-blown martyr. I would skip meals, forget to pee, and if I was having a bad day, I HAD to have chocolate. I would get annoyed by nurses who would make sure they got their breaks and went to lunch off the floor. Couldn’t they see how crazy things where? How dare they take their breaks. I was so busy judging them, that I wasn’t seeing how my choices were hard on my body and wearing me down emotionally. It wasn’t until my burnout and anxiety were out of control that I realized something needed to shift.
One of the biggest pieces of healing in my burnout recovery was my decision to stop being a martyr, unlearn these habits that were hurting me, and commitment to self-care.
I started walking every evening afterwork to decompress and listening to audible books/podcasts. I used the bathroom and took my lunch breaks. I made it a point to get outside during my shift. I started making sure I took vacations, even if they were simply staycations at home. I did not pick up extra overtime unless I wanted to. I did not answer the phone when worked call, but instead waited to hear the voicemail.
No matter where you are in your career, it is never too late to start practicing self-care. However, with one caveat and that is knowing what self-care is and what is an indulgence. Self-care helps us grow, heal, or show up better in our lives. Indulgences make us feeling better in the moment but do nothing to improve our quality of life. Things like sweets, alcohol, binge watching TV, venting about work to friends, and scrolling social media are fun in the moment, but usually don’t make us feel better long-term. It is perfectly okay to have an indulgence, but it should not be viewed as a form of self-care or it becomes more of a crutch and can lead to dependency.
Self-care is one of the most powerful forms of self-love, but only when we are not in a state of constant self-sacrifice and martyrdom. We owe it to ourselves and our patients to step up and take better care of ourselves. Nursing as a profession must stop viewing martyrdom as acceptable or normal. Because every time we allow these behaviors, we feed into the belief that nurses do not take care of themselves.
Mary Buffington is a Registered Nurse and Certified Life Coach. Her expertise is in burnout and resiliency coaching for nurses. After working for over a decade in oncology nursing and experiencing burnout in various points in her own career, she became passionate about helping nurses overcome burnout. Her business the Burnout Ward has helped nurses throughout the United States reconnect to their joy in nursing and passion for healing. To learn more, please visit burnoutward.com
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