Get unstuck in your career and life.

 

The thing that keeps us stuck is the belief that the obstacle is a ball and chain, when in fact it is just a little gum on our shoe. - Mary B.

I think one of the biggest lies that happens in burnout is that you are stuck and have no control over the situation.

I see it from my clients, I see it in nursing groups, and heck I even used it on myself.

But being stuck is not a circumstance you have no control over.

It is a mindset that takes over your goals and stops you from taking risks and doing things you might find uncomfortable.

So instead of doing things like talking to your manager about moving forward with your career you do things like:

- Complain to your friends and family about the lack of opportunities.

- Binge watch the Crown on Netflix while eating ice cream to feel better.

- Spend hours nit picking jobs on indeed and apply for jobs you don't even want.

- Become envious or jealous of coworkers who seem to be growing a moving forward in their careers while nothing is changing for you.

- Make a thousand excuses for why you change circumstances no matter what solutions people offer you. 

If any of these sound like you, here are three things to ask and/or tell yourself when you feel stuck. 

1. You are where you choose to be.

As I said earlier, being stuck is not a circumstance you have no control over. Everything in life is a choice. You are choosing to stay at your job. You are choosing to be in your relationships. You are choosing to live in the place you live.

Even if you don't like where you are right now, a big step in taking back your power and getting unstuck is saying out loud to yourself. "I choose to...."

2. What is the realistic worst thing that could happen if I do xyzzy?

A lot of times our brains like to think that if we do something risky or uncomfortable that our lives will fall apart. We will create this worst case scenario that we think is realistic (ie that everyone will hate us and we will be punished). 

But, I want to pause you if this what your brain is doing. 

Because this your sympathetic nervous system aka the reptile brain kicking in just trying to protect you from danger.

Take a breath and write down what is all the worst things that could happen in this situation. 

Then question every item for what is realistic and that everyone you know would agree with you. If you don't have any one that comes to mind, set up a consult with me and I will be happy to look over them for you.

3. Stop using people pleasing as a reason to stay stuck.

People pleasing is one of the most common excuses I hear from people who feel stuck. They don't want to let their coworkers, manager, or patients down.

So they stay miserable in a position that could have been filled by someone who is excited to be there. 

Folks, people pleasing is manipulating other people at the expense of liking yourself.

If you find yourself doing this, I want you to tell yourself one of these statements:

- "My doing (insert what you want to do) will be beneficial for everyone. 

- They support me in pursuing my dreams.

- It will all work out.

- My leaving will not make or break this company.

I believe in you and your possibilities.

Mary B.

P.S. Hey have you heard about the awesome things that happen to nurses in the Unbreakable Nurse Society? They get new jobs, get new clients in their nurse coaching business, they move across country, they lose weight, and get out of burnout ALL IN THE MIDDLE OF COVID. If you are ready to become an Unbreakable Nurse, sign up today for a free consult. 

Let's do this!