One of the biggest realizations that I learned from burnout is that compartmentalizing your work/home life is a load of B.S.
Lleave your work at work and your home at home, seems like great advice but if your marriage is on the struggle or you had a huge fight with your partner, you will be thinking about it at work.
AND this is a two way street.
If you hate your job and dread going to work, it comes home. Whether that means scrolling for jobs for hours or talking/complaining about it instead of enjoying time with your lover.
Some red flags burnout is getting into bed with your relationship:
- You ignore time with your partner to scroll indeed looking at jobs or dealing with work.
- You find yourself less interested or not enjoying sex because you are too stressed from work.
- You have had a fight with your partner about your job and they think you should just quit.
- You don't have the energy to show up as the partner you want to be in your relationship.
Any of these sound familiar?
If so, I want to reassure you that you are not alone.
I have helped several of my nurse clients who's burnout has made it's way home and helped them stop letting their jobs hurt their relationships.
Here are a few tips to help take your relationship back from burnout.
1. Place a limit on job hunting/scrolling.
It's time to stop the doom scrolling on job boards.
It is a time suck and honestly, I haven't seen it help anyone get a job.
Instead pick one night at week and make it your designated job application/scrolling time. Limit it to three hours so you focus on the best job matches.
Want to take it a step farther?
Focus on connecting with warm leads instead of cold applications.
You can do this by becoming more strategic with your job hunting and start connecting with other nurse friends who are working in areas you want to work.
Talk to them about your goals and see if they might know of any job openings coming up.
2. Make intentional bonding & intimate time for you and your partner to connect.
This one seems really straight forward but it's amazing how many of us will have the time with partners be used for chores, running errands, or doing some other task.
This is not intimate time and stop trying to count it as bonding time. PERIOD.
It doesn't have to be extravagant.
It literally can be turning your phone off, then cooking dinner together, putting on some R&B (or whatever sexy music works for you), and getting it on.
If that feels a little too much, just start by taking time to touch each other even if it's a simple hug, flirting with your partner, or giving a pat on the booty.
These things seem small but can go a long way.
Have children and are struggling to figure out how to make time for each other?
Schedule it during nap time/bed time, ask a friend to babysit, or lock the damn door.
3. Give yourself space to unwind after work.
As much as I love my husband, I am kinda antisocial after work and need downtime by myself to unwind after a crappy day at work.
My favorite thing to do was to put a leash on my dog Max and listening to some Halestorm, Nine Inch Nails, and Tool while walking around the block.
Too cold or not safe for you to walk at night?
Put on a workout video or jump on the exercise bike and have at it.
Don't feel like working out?
Play your favorite instrument or just hop into the shower and listen to your favorite music.
By making yourself responsible for relaxing and unwinding, you stop putting this responsibility on your partner.
These tips can take practice doing but can really pay off in the long run and if you are wanting faster results, set up a consult with me.
I believe in you and your possibilities.
Mary B.
Whether it's getting burnout out of your bedroom, finding the right career path for you, or learning to find confidence standing up for yourself at work, coaching can change your nursing career and life.
Recently a client shared "I was able to negotiate my salary up $2500!!! I have never negotiated before and I can't believe it! Thank you for helping me have the confidence to have my own back."
If you have been sitting on the fence about reaching out, go ahead and click here to setup a consult with me.
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