"The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something worth living for." - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Welcome to Part Three of the Resiliency Model: Purpose.
(You can click here to about Self-Love or Self-Preservation.)
Between the ages of 30-31, I was in a bit of an identity crisis. The reason why is because nothing was going as planned. I had envisioned that I would have been married by 30 and had a kid. Instead, I was living in San Francisco almost 2500 miles away from the place I grew up, in the middle of a messy breakup, and working two per diem jobs. While looking at me, you would assume that I was fine and having the time of my life, the truth was I was a wreck.
It had been almost a year since I left a job where I hit burnout. I felt like I was just floating on a boat in a fog waiting for a sign of what I was supposed to do next. While I was going to work and going through the motions, I did not believe I was creating value in my work as a nurse. I was constantly worried about dying and not having done something of meaning or living my purpose.
Purpose is defined as the reason something is made. Purpose is also one of the defining characters for humans and necessary for resiliency. There is research that shows people who feel they have a purpose live longer. However, how do you regain a sense of purpose after experiencing burnout at a level that you lose your desire to stay in nursing?
Let go of the belief that your job has to be your purpose.
Nursing is one of the noblest of professions. Frequently when I share with people that I am a cancer nurse, they say something like "It takes a special person to do what you do." I would always feel a bit guilty because I didn't feel special because of my job. While some of this could be tied to the burnout I had experienced in my role, what I found is that my passion is for helping people live better lives. Sometimes holding on to the belief that it has to be a specific job or in a specific area creates a lot of pain if you lose the job or things change at that job.
Focus on your own journey.
“If someone isn’t what others want them to be, the others become angry. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.” - Paulo Coehlo
Comparison is the thief of joy and purpose. It is really easy to look at someone else's journey and path in their nursing career and decide that is what you need to do to find or live your purpose as a nurse. However, when we try to walk other people's paths, what ends up happening is we miss out on our own journey. That also being said, no one can tell you what is the right path for you. As much as our friends, families, even teachers might think they are being helpful, you have to do what you think is right for you.
Create your own purpose.
Purpose is not something that comes to you or that you find. It is something you create.
I remember as a kid watching movies and then deciding that this is what I wanted to be when I grew up. Thanks to Twister and The Mummy, I had the idea of being both a storm chaser and an archeologist. It didn't matter if it made sense to other people, it made sense to me and that was all that mattered. While I did not become either as an adult, I look back and am almost inspired by the 12-year-old version of myself. She was brave and was not afraid of what other people thought about what "her purpose" was. She just did her thing and created it.
If you believe you have lost your sense of purpose in nursing, let's talk. Sign up for a consultation where we will go over your priorities and goals then create a plan to get you there.
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